The end

This will probably be my last post on here for awhile. I am going to start a new one since I am starting a new single life and want nothing to remember my horrible ex by. And seeing how a majority of these posts are about how much he has treated me bad I just can't have reminders.

Thank you to anyone who actually reads this.

Sidewalk Chalked

Today grandma took the day off for a doctors appointment so the Boog and I joined her. We had a fun filled day after. We went shopping at Rite Aid but the real fun wasn't until we got home and went outside.

The Boog got to play with sidewalk chalk. He has played with it before but never actually drew with it. Just ate it or banged it on the ground. He really enjoyed himself, and I have to admit I did too.

After awhile he got bored with the sidewalk and decided I was more fun to draw on. So I sat and let him create. How can I say no?

Homeschooling, the Next Adventure

Before I even decided to have kids I knew I wanted to homeschool. I had a horrible experience with public school and wish my mom had taken me out. Honestly the only time I loved public school was kindergarten and the first grade. Other then that, the rest can shove it.

Today I spent a good amount of the day researching it. And we start tomorrow. Ryan is only 20 months so I will start slow. I just need to decide if I want to do a color of the day or a letter of the day, but my week is already planned. Monday he comes home late so I won't be able to start but on Tuesday we are going to the library and hopefully getting him a card. It's been years since I've been.

And if time allows it I want to take him to the "lake". I know we can have lots of fun there. Also, starting in June we will learn the number 1.

I really hope this is something Ryan will enjoy.

On another blog I read about doing a mini bucket list a week. This sounds like a great idea to have fun with Ryan and do something new a.d exciting each week. So for this week my mini bucket list looks like this:

1. Play inside a bubble.
2. Learn how to use glue and make something fun.
3. Read a new book every night before bed.
4. Feed a duck.
5. Have lunch at the park.
6. Go for a walk on a starry night.
7. Visit a friend.
8. Wear a matching outfit.
9. Take a random trip to the store and learn a new letter.
10. Bake cookies.

I can't wait to cross these off with Ryan.

How time flies

It's been awhile...maybe a little too long but a lot has happened. I recently started selling Scentsy, started dating my ex again, and just learned that 19 months after giving birth to Ryan I still suffer from ppd. I will be put on meds and this time I will make sure I take them.
For awhile now I have been hurting bad from it and it has affected Ryan's and my relationship. He wants nothing to do with me now and I miss him. He has become big on kissing, but none for mama. He eats alone, doesn't want mama to help. Sleeps alone, pushes mama away.... It hurts it really does. So hopefully with meds I will have happy days once again.
I love my kid and want to enjoy him. Not hide in a room with tears running down my face. No child needs to see that.

Speaking of Ryan he has gotten so big. I really miss the newborn stage, waking up every two or three hours, none stop feedings and all those diapers. Yep, I want to do it again. I want to hold that little booger close and never let go. He has been talking up a storm lately, and is all boy. Poop, butts, and farts are what make him laugh the hardest. And there isn't a day when he isn't covered in dirt. He is growing, fast, and becoming an individual. Pretty soon my little Boog will be leaving the neat and I will cry. Feels like yesterday he was born, learned to roll, sit, crawl, then walk. Oh how time flies.

If there is ever a baby #2

I saw this posted on one of the Facebook groups I'm in and if I ever become pregnant with baby #2 you can bet your sweet ass I'm making this.

Working It Out

So, its a new year. Obviously. And with a new year comes change. Again, obvious.

Well, change has happened. I've been back with my ex for I don't know how long now but here we are dating, starting over. We still fight but what marriage doesn't. It's actually gotten better. And we started therapy. I hate to admit it but I think I jumped the gun and filed for divorce to soon. But I think if it wasn't for me doing that he never would have changed. And I believe he is honestly trying.

We go again for therapy in two weeks so we will see how this goes.  This isn't the only thing that has changed. Started next weekend he now gets Ryan for two nights. I eve learned that I won't have him for a majority of the holidays and I no longer get him for his birthday. Which kills me! I want my baby on that day the most. It isn't just his day but I feel like its my day too. I don't know how I'll be able to handle that.

But I guess we will have to wait and see. Who knows me and my ex-ex might be fully back together by then.

Until then, have a good weekend.

The Bookcase

Lately I've been wanting to give my son's bookshelf some life. I really love it but its a little on the plain side. I've thought about painting, considered adding stickers, even thought about spending money and buying wooden letters or a wall decals. But I don't like either of those ideas.

SO laying in bed I decided I'm going to sew some letters to hang above it. Not sure how yet but I will.

I honestly can't wait to start another project.