How time flies

It's been awhile...maybe a little too long but a lot has happened. I recently started selling Scentsy, started dating my ex again, and just learned that 19 months after giving birth to Ryan I still suffer from ppd. I will be put on meds and this time I will make sure I take them.
For awhile now I have been hurting bad from it and it has affected Ryan's and my relationship. He wants nothing to do with me now and I miss him. He has become big on kissing, but none for mama. He eats alone, doesn't want mama to help. Sleeps alone, pushes mama away.... It hurts it really does. So hopefully with meds I will have happy days once again.
I love my kid and want to enjoy him. Not hide in a room with tears running down my face. No child needs to see that.

Speaking of Ryan he has gotten so big. I really miss the newborn stage, waking up every two or three hours, none stop feedings and all those diapers. Yep, I want to do it again. I want to hold that little booger close and never let go. He has been talking up a storm lately, and is all boy. Poop, butts, and farts are what make him laugh the hardest. And there isn't a day when he isn't covered in dirt. He is growing, fast, and becoming an individual. Pretty soon my little Boog will be leaving the neat and I will cry. Feels like yesterday he was born, learned to roll, sit, crawl, then walk. Oh how time flies.

If there is ever a baby #2

I saw this posted on one of the Facebook groups I'm in and if I ever become pregnant with baby #2 you can bet your sweet ass I'm making this.

Working It Out

So, its a new year. Obviously. And with a new year comes change. Again, obvious.

Well, change has happened. I've been back with my ex for I don't know how long now but here we are dating, starting over. We still fight but what marriage doesn't. It's actually gotten better. And we started therapy. I hate to admit it but I think I jumped the gun and filed for divorce to soon. But I think if it wasn't for me doing that he never would have changed. And I believe he is honestly trying.

We go again for therapy in two weeks so we will see how this goes.  This isn't the only thing that has changed. Started next weekend he now gets Ryan for two nights. I eve learned that I won't have him for a majority of the holidays and I no longer get him for his birthday. Which kills me! I want my baby on that day the most. It isn't just his day but I feel like its my day too. I don't know how I'll be able to handle that.

But I guess we will have to wait and see. Who knows me and my ex-ex might be fully back together by then.

Until then, have a good weekend.

The Bookcase

Lately I've been wanting to give my son's bookshelf some life. I really love it but its a little on the plain side. I've thought about painting, considered adding stickers, even thought about spending money and buying wooden letters or a wall decals. But I don't like either of those ideas.

SO laying in bed I decided I'm going to sew some letters to hang above it. Not sure how yet but I will.

I honestly can't wait to start another project.

Mr. Bubble

An old friend has returned to our home. He first befriended my mom years ago, then he became good friends with my brother and I. And now Ryan has learnes the joy of Mr. Bubble. Bath time isn't as fun without him.

Monday, Monday

So good to me.

I love when Ryan is in such a good mood. Makes me happy and forget about all the pain his dad puts me through.

Post by Boog

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