To be honest I have never been happy about the choice for my son's name. I did not want to be named after his father but I did not have any other boy's names in mind. Now that Joel and I have been struggling I am scared I am going to be stuck calling him, Joel-Ryan, Joel. I do not want that. Lately we have been calling him Ryan but I really want to change his name. I was thinking Ryan Anthony. Is it so wrong to change his name? Even though my son doesn't have a choice right now?
I just hate calling him Joel, I hate knowing that he is a junior. Why, oh why, did I not sit there while we were in the hospital and think of a better name.
I screwed up...yet again. And to top it off I screwed up something for my son...
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