Monday, April 23, 2012

How time flies

It's been awhile...maybe a little too long but a lot has happened. I recently started selling Scentsy, started dating my ex again, and just learned that 19 months after giving birth to Ryan I still suffer from ppd. I will be put on meds and this time I will make sure I take them.
For awhile now I have been hurting bad from it and it has affected Ryan's and my relationship. He wants nothing to do with me now and I miss him. He has become big on kissing, but none for mama. He eats alone, doesn't want mama to help. Sleeps alone, pushes mama away.... It hurts it really does. So hopefully with meds I will have happy days once again.
I love my kid and want to enjoy him. Not hide in a room with tears running down my face. No child needs to see that.

Speaking of Ryan he has gotten so big. I really miss the newborn stage, waking up every two or three hours, none stop feedings and all those diapers. Yep, I want to do it again. I want to hold that little booger close and never let go. He has been talking up a storm lately, and is all boy. Poop, butts, and farts are what make him laugh the hardest. And there isn't a day when he isn't covered in dirt. He is growing, fast, and becoming an individual. Pretty soon my little Boog will be leaving the neat and I will cry. Feels like yesterday he was born, learned to roll, sit, crawl, then walk. Oh how time flies.