Sunday, November 27, 2011

Weekend Two

This is the second weekend that Ryan is staying at his dad's and it still kills me. But I found out today that Ryan is giving hell when it comes to sleeping. Good job Boog.

He asked me today how I do it. I wish I didn't tell him but I let the baby crack slip. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Put it on and Ryan will watch till he passes out. I never should have said a word. But it isn't fair to let Ryan suffer in the sleep department.

What I love the most though is his bitch of a mom told him that Ryan is acting like that because he wants his mom. Yay bitch mil I have marked one 'I hate you because...' of my list.

But the list is very long so I didn't make much difference.

I seriously miss my son and its momentary like this where I miss waking up to his butt in my face or being woken by a kick or a slap.

Five o'clock please hurry, I want my baby back.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A "Happy" Thanksgiving

Why is it that I am the one who feel out of love, asked for divorce but I'm the one who is hurting the most. Here he tells me over and over again that he still loves me but he is "dating" me and another girl. Sometimes I wonder if he was even dating this other girl when we were still together.

Why does it hurt so freakin' much? I have come to the conclusion that I either still love him or I'm just upset that he has moved on so much quicker then I can. Like I said before I'm the one who left and feel out of love but I am no where ready to date. Heck I don't even want to get married again. Unless its Zak Bagans or Shia Labeouf, and I highly doubt that would happen, I give up on men.
But the one thing I don't get the most is why must he be an asshole and call her every time he comes to get Ryan? I know for the most part its to get to me...and I hate to say it but sadly it does.

He has ruined love for me. He has ruin a lot of things for me.