He gave me my rings back today, told me how much he loved me and how he wanted us to be back together. I told him I would move back but to know that I would not be happy. I mean I want to do it for my son, I do want to do it cause I want to be with my husband again. But I am not sure if I still even love him, which scares me. Should I just give in and settle? Or do I just feel like this because I am so tired, and so very sad from the past month. I mean it has already been a month since we moved out and I am no more happy here then I was there. I wish something or someone can just tell me what to do.
He even kissed me today, I did not feel anything. But I was so scared and upset I am not sure if I even could. Maybe I just need to relax and us three spend time together and see how I feel. Because when we did go on our date a few weeks back I felt great. That was till he started to beg me for some again...
Maybe I really am just over reacting. I think its time to pull out the big girl panties again and figure out what I truly want. Am I meant to be a single mom for the time being or is Joel truly the one for me?
But if he is then why did he ask for the rings back and tell me its over? It is probably because I have grown so distant from him.... I think we need a "just us" time. And by just us I mean Joel-Ryan, Joel and me. Starting tomorrow I need to figure out what I want and stick with it.
Wish me luck.
I have been reading your blog- best of luck to you, and I hope you can decide what makes you happy and what is best for you and your lil boy! GL
ReplyDeleteLuck and if it feels wrong, it just may be. You have put up with a lot more than most would, but remember you deserve to be happy and sometimes love isn't enough. Your son can have 2 loving parents that arent together.
ReplyDeleteThank you both, I really appreciate it.
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